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Kladivo na čaroděje 9: Uhryzněte si pořádné sousto brutality, Darek Šmíd: Žrádlo pro psy (Kladivo na čaroděje 9)

Šmíd Darek: Kladivo na čaroděje 09 - Žrádlo pro psy

Garfield měl pravdu, pondělky stojí za prd. Jako by nestačilo, že je člověk ještě zlenivělý z neděle a musí tvrdnout v práci, která ho frustruje, a dohaduje se s rovněž frustrovanými spolupracovníky. Ještě se na něj hned z rána vrhne hladový šéf. No to je zase den…

Začalo to jako (pravda, trochu upatlaná) rutina. Bandu Felixe Jonáše oficiálně přizvou pražští policisté na místo činu a požádají ji, aby prokázala svou podivnou odbornost na všechno divné a pomohla jim s objasněním rozmašírovaných ohořelých těl v kanceláři v centru města. A protože tahle čtyřka je jako magnet na průsery, tak se, aniž by do toho nějak výrazněji vrtala, hned do jednoho namočí. A tentokrát nejen, že to nebude hezké – on i talíř plný potkanů rozmašírovaných v mixéru působí vábněji než to, v čem postavy nechal vymáchat Darek Šmíd.

Záleží, co je uvnitř…

… ano, to se vskutku říká. Ale někdo snad mohl nováčkovi říct hned ve dveřích, že ne všechno se musí brát doslovně. Nestalo se a podle toho to vypadá – autor se skutečně detailně zaměřil na vnitřnosti postav.

Darek Šmíd v pěti bodech

  • Narodil se v Karlových Varech roku 1977.
  • Kromě devátého Kladiva napsal román Superpérák, fantasy komiks Archibaldova dobrodružství a pracoval na scénářích k seriálům Vyprávěj a Comeback.
  • Překládá komiksy Transmetropolitan a Kick-Ass.
  • Psal pro redakci magazínu Pátek Lidových novin a editoval web Reflex.cz.
  • V Ceně Karla Čapka obsadil v roce 1997 9. místo v kategorii střední povídky.

Darek Šmíd se ve Žrádlu pro psy vyprofiloval jako odborník na dvě věci – lidskou anatomii a japonskou kinematografii. Znalost anatomie využil především pro předvedení brutální a profesionální řezničiny. Šmíd přišel s řadou originálních způsobů, jakými někoho nechat zabít tak, aby si fanoušci splatteru Kladivo na čaroděje konečně užili plnými sousty. Nadrobno nasekaných, pečlivě rozžvýkaných či zpola natrávených mrtvol je zde taková spousta, že nejen, že se nevyplatí je počítat, ale navíc na ně ne každý čtenář má žaludek. Konec konců, odtud název samotného dílu, jen nejlepším přítelem člověka se zde nemyslí chundelatý slintající mazlíček, ale k boji vycvičená, v kohoutku dva metry vysoká bestie s vyceněnými zuby a značným apetitem.

Japonskou kinematografií se pak myslí prachsprosté hentai, proč se ostýchat to říct přímo. Ostatně Darek Šmíd se nebojí říct na plnou hubu naprosto všechno.

„Po tunách do sebe rvu erotický komiksy, sakra, vždyť už z toho umím japonsky! Paizuri! Kónajhaša! Niku benki! Kimočí! Šokušu! ITAI! Koukám na příšernosti, ze kterých by se ti obrátil žaludek naruby, a to všechno jen proto, abych byl furt tvrdej!“ (str. 124)

Obálce, byť tradičně fantastické, by možná slušel i velký červený nápis „Nevhodné pro mladistvé a slabší povahy“. Ale nakonec, nic jiného anotace Kladiva na čaroděje nikdy neslibovala. Takže technicky vzato: Chtěli jste to a máte to mít. Byli jste varováni a dobře vám tak!

Po obsahové stránce má Šmíd našlápnuto výborně. Odsýpá to, má to nápad. Co se zpracování týče, je to na díl z Kladiva trochu zmatečné a trochu binec. Walterovo odtržení od skupiny možná vhodně ilustruje delirium, kterým nekromant prochází, zároveň ale tvoří dějovou linku, jejíž absence by ničemu neublížila. Naproti tomu Vincencova sólová jízda má říz a nevymáchaný humor, které dělají Kladivo tím, čím je.

A po jídle si vyčistěte zuby

Vyprávěcí styl Žrádla pro psy možná šlo ukočírovat i líp, stále se ale s přehledem drží nad průměrem. Navíc to silně dohání originalitou tématu, vyzněním závěru a lehkým krůčkem vpřed z hlediska vývoje charakterů. Po přečtení nezůstává pachuť v puse, z toho ohromného masakru na konci zbyde snad jen kousek něčí chrupavky mezi zuby, kterou člověk jazykem prostě nemůže vydolovat, byť se snaží sebevíc. Výsledek je tudíž uspokojivý. A jubilejní desátý díl vyjde v roce 2016 a s ním se vrátí i taťka série Jiří Pavlovský.

  • Darek Šmíd: Žrádlo pro psy (Kladivo na čaroděje 9)
  • Epocha, 2015
  • obálka: Lubomír Kupčík, Lukáš Tuma
  • 160 stran, 159 Kč (v e-shopu Fantasye již za 143 Kč)
1. ledna 2016, Sabina Dudová

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Kladivo na čaroděje 09 - Žrádlo pro psy

Kladivo na čaroděje 09 - Žrádlo pro psy
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